“I ain’t gonna lie, I’ma keep it real/I don’t wanna tell you how I feel,” he sang on “Fucked Up,” at once revealing and concealing the truth. All the while, Peep hid the reasons for his behavior from the listener. The mixtape is filled with suicidal declarations, rampant drug use, and moments of delight and impulse. Uploaded to SoundCloud in September 2016, Hellboy is the masterpiece of Lil Peep’s lifetime. It’s frustrating as someone who remembers a happy brother.” How could the kid who sang, “I used to wanna kill myself/Came up, still wanna kill myself,” be anything but deeply inconsolable? But Oskar also added, “He was not as sad as people think he was. It’s what his image was in a sense.” That image made you think you knew Lil Peep as someone who willingly revealed his pain and struggles in his music. “He gets paid to be sad,” Peep’s older brother Oskar told People on November 17, 2017, hardly more than a day after Peep died.
